Unusual Solutions

I’ve never passed a kidney stone but I’ve heard it’s very painful.  A friend of mine once passed one the size of a grain of sand, and in his words, it was the most excruciating pain he had ever felt.   I hope I don’t have to have that experience, but it’s nice to know that recent research has discovered that passing a kidney stone might be a lot faster and less painful if you take a ride on a roller coaster.

I believe it! First you have the long slow climb up to the top of the track, and then the brief hanging seconds when you are anticipating what comes next, and another few seconds when the roller coaster begins to drop, picking up momentum and throwing everyone into a heart-stopping, jaw-clenching scream as you barrel down the track.   If not a heart attack, why not a kidney stone?  According to the Journal of the American Osteopathic Association,  research on kidney stones and roller coasters began after a patient reported passing a stone while riding Big Thunder Mountain Railroad roller coaster at Walt Disney World.  The scientists built a 3-D model of a kidney complete with kidney stones and tested their model on both front seat and back seat rides.  Those in the back seat passed nearly 4 times as many stones as those in the front seat.  So, I guess if you have a small kidney stone and want to avoid the stress and cost of surgery, going to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Walt Disney World might be a more fun and less costly option.

What does this have to do with writing?  Have you ever written an article, paper, or story that felt like passing a kidney stone?  So painful you wish you could avoid it, but so inevitable that it’s going to trundle its way through the small narrow path to its final destination?  And doesn’t writing sometimes feel like being on a roller coaster? The long trudge uphill as you fight procrastination and the need to start putting your words on paper, until you finally get to the crest…hit your stride and plummet full force into your writing, forgetting time and space until you reach the end and the car pulls up short, the attendant unlocks the bar, and you stumble a little dizzy into the rest of your day.   The message I take away from this is to keep on writing even though you may feel like your story is being pulled from you like a kidney stone, excruciatingly slowly, because the high you get when you top the hill and find your stride will cause that story to dislodge itself from your inner being onto the page and into the light and there is no better feeling than being able to look at your work in front of you and exclaim, “What a ride!”  The ache inside of you is gone for the time being and the next time you are struggling to get your stories out and heard, it won’t be so painful if you remember to strap yourself into that roller coaster car and hang on for dear life.

Photo courtesy of Brandon Wholey 2004
Photo courtesy of Brandon Wholey 2004

Author: Jay Warner

Writing is a lifelong passion for me. In my many years of writing I have had the opportunity to help many people in their own writing journeys. I write historical fiction and a broader variety of non-fiction including technical writing, corporate policies and procedures, white papers, safety manuals, interpretations of documents pertaining to governmental entities such as OSHA and DOI, grants, articles, encyclopedia entries, essays, compositions, and more. I have taught high school composition and language arts including Advance Placement, Upward Bound, and Early Literacy for people ages 16-54 who need extra help with reading and writing. I have served as editor of two quarterly magazines: one literary and one historical in nature and have excellent proofreading and editing skills. I would like to help you craft your best work by assisting you with both editing and proofreading. Let's get the words on the page and rock the writing world!